Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Raw thoughts of a postpartum Mommy????

Alright friends, I need some feedback (from all three people who read my blog (he-he) ;) Be honest, (but not too honest ;) and if you feel the need to be spicy, please add some sugar to soften the blow....

I originally started this blog after my husband read parts of my journal and suggested that I should maybe share some of my thoughts and feelings with the world.

I thought that was a totally ridiculous idea and threw the journal in his face....

I'm just kidding.


OK, not funny.

I was however, so nervous about the idea of writing for the general public that once I got up the nerve to actually open a blog account, it took me well over a month to write my first post. Lame, I know. But putting myself out there is not one of my strong points. It makes me more nervous than a flock of chickens being chased by a 3 year old (I have video of that that I'm sure you'll want to see).

That's where your input comes in handy.

I am contemplating "putting myself out there" in a tremendous (and petrifying) way and want to know if ya'all would find it helpful. If not, I won't.

Soooo......drum roll please......

I have been thinking about sharing some of my most poignant journal entries dated back to when I was in the heart of my breakdown. They are strong, raw examples of the feelings and thoughts of desperation, anger, pain, hope and helplessness that so many women experience in this battle. It would be its own category and I would still share generalized posts. I don't even know how many of them I will share, but reading over them was so emotional for me, I just know that other women would be able to relate, and maybe, just maybe, really get that they are not alone in this battle. 

Yay, or nay?

Brilliant or ludicrous?

What are your thoughts?


  1. I think it depends on how raw the thoughts and feelings are. For someone who is still dealing with the hellish intrusive thoughts, reading about another persons hell might only create more thoughts and images for that person. Having said that, I love reading your blog, and I love the way you talk to your PPOCD! Thank you for sharing your story.

  2. Yes I say go for it however based on the comments above I would put a warning for fragile mommies still in the depths of their own ppd hell. I too have a day by day journal and I read it now and I can see how much stronger and better I have become. I would love to read your story and see what the similarities are between our experiences. Did you research the website i sent you regarding natural hormone therapy?

  3. Part of my comment didn't show up. I always have issues posting on your blog for some reason...

    I added that I think women who are suffering deeply are still candy-coating things, so those who read and have suffered feeling worse get that guilt again that they must be the only one... Does that make sense?

    As always, I think a warning is a good thing for those having one of those "touchy" days.

  4. Very good points, thanks for the insight...if I do decide to post some entries, I will most definitely add a warning for moms still dealing with this. It funny, cause looking back at my journal entries, I never actually wrote details of what I was thinking...I was way to scared to write it down on paper. Instead, I wrote way more about how I was feeling, does that make sense? Hope so. Anyways, thank you SO much for commenting, I appreciate the feedback more than I can say!

  5. i believe that each time you are led to share personal painful experiences you are gaining ground and getting stronger. your mind & body need to know that you are not afraid of what you experienced. those feelings & thoughts are NOT capable of overcoming you because you are confronting them head on and forcing yourself to process the pain and memories.
    if you feel that god is leading you to share your experience with others remember that he WILL use your testimony to open other people's eyes, call them out of darkness, denial, fear and loneliness. we are the body of christ and he has not called to go through these things alone. i encourage you to speak out, reach out to those that are hurting. i commend you for considering this because it takes so much courage to put yourself in this vulnerable place. i pray that god would give you wisdom with what details to share and i also pray for God's protection over your emotions, mind and thoughts throughout this process. i'm believing god for breakthroughs! keep fighting!

  6. Yes of course! The raw-er you are, the better!

  7. Hi Leigh,
    Totally, I too was and am scared to right down exactly what went thru my brain ... it still seems so unreal at times and too painful .. anyhow, definitely go for it!! It's your testimony!