Today I long for another baby. My arms ache to hold a new precious bundle, to feel life inside of my body again and to have my husband experience the reality of me growing large with our child. It is a deep, intimate desire of my heart, a pain that something...someone is missing in our family. But we wait. Or rather, I demand we wait.
You see, I want another baby. So badly actually, that my longing for the pitter patter of little feet makes my heart hurt. But I am scared. Terrified actually. I am just now starting to get better after 3 years and what if it happens again? Oh LORD what if it happens again? I can't do it again. I can't live in that hell again. HELL people! I am not joking. This illness comes straight from the fiery depths of hell. Of that I can be certain. It was a living hell. In my head. And you can't get away from your head. So the question remains; can I do it again? Am I willing to take that chance?
Because Gracie was, is, and will always be worth everything I ever went through after her birth.
And any other future babies will be too.....and that's that.
.............BUT.....I think we'll wait just a little bit longer..........Ya know, cause it's fashionable to have your kids 298734 years apart ;)